Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
