We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Randomize
