it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
