Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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