does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
