Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
