Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
