you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
