so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
