Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just invented taco cereal.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
