Can i not drive my cunt home
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
