but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We had sex on a dog bed..
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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