I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
