Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
