Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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