I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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