Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
