that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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