What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
you inspire me to be a worse person
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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