i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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