Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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