He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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