I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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