I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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