When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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