just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
