I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
bring money and cleavage
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
You ruined the universe
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
