Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
