This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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