Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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