he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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