Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish i was in the wii world.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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