shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
