I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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