i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
