i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
