i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
