Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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