He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
