The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
