my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
