i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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