I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
