she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
