found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
