i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize