There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
