have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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