Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
