Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
