$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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