You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I got inside last night via doggy door
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
