weddingsv make me drug and hornr
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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