Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
